Navigating Disagreements: Biblical Strategies for Managing Anger and Conflict
- TBenton
- Sep 17
- 19 min read
Updated: Sep 21
Disagreements are a part of everyday life. From personal relationships to community interactions and political discussions, conflicts often test our patience and understanding. How we handle these conflicts can significantly shape our lives, the lives of others, and the world around us.
This post will explore biblical strategies for managing anger and conflict, offering practical insights to help navigate these challenging situations effectively and showing how many healthy forms of conflict resolution exist.
Violence and hatred are never the answer.
Anger and the Christian Response
"For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:20 ESV).
The senseless murder of Charlie Kirk, founder of Turning Point USA and a fellow Christian, on September 10, 2025, made me stop and think about how, in an instant, lives can be completely devastated and all because of a disagreement.
The murderer was a twenty-two-year-old who had clearly never learned how to navigate disagreements and differences of opinion in a healthy and mature manner.
Within an instant, and all due to hate, anger, and the inability to think independently and critically, this young man destroyed multiple lives, including his own.
I watched the news in shock and grief, then became angry.
Over the few days following the murder of Charlie Kirk, anger led the way in my emotions.
I was angry at the kid who murdered him, angry the kid could not control his hate, angry at the media and at those who took the words of Charlie Kirk and twisted them to suit their agenda, angry at the media for their constant lies and half-truths, angry at our educational system for their continued indoctrination of our children to fit their world-view, angry at the lack of respect for human life, angry at the harm that was done to the family of Charlie and the shooters own family, and angry at those who laughed at the death of Charlie Kirk somehow finding murder funny.
Plain and simple, I was angry, and for so many reasons.
But in the midst of this anger, I didn't lash out. I didn't plot revenge. I didn't jump on social media and further spread the hate swirling all around me.
You see, this is one of the many reasons I love our God, our Christian faith, and His Word in the Bible. While anger is a normal human emotion, the Christian response to anger is not more anger, more hate, more violence, but it is LOVE.
So even as I still felt the anger of the shocking murder of Charlie Kirk, I ran to God for guidance.
The Holy Spirit called me to pray, and so I prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. I grabbed my Bible and began searching for guidance through the Word of God, spoke to other Christians for further support, and fought any temptation to react in a way unpleasing to God. Sometimes it is a fight to do so, but my Christian faith and love for God prompted me to run to Him and not react as the world reacts.
So I put on my full armor of God, armed myself with His Word, and began to think of ways I could help good conquer the evil that led to the shooting of an innocent Christian man.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. (Ephesians 6:10-11 ESV).
Understanding Anger through a Biblical Lens
As I said earlier, anger is a normal human emotion that often arises from feelings of injustice or misunderstanding. The Bible recognizes anger, but also offers sound guidance on how to handle anger promptly and constructively.
"And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT).
This verse serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of managing our emotions, particularly anger, in a manner that aligns with our values and beliefs.
This passage illuminates two critical aspects regarding the emotion of anger. Firstly, it acknowledges that feeling anger is a natural human experience; however, it cautions against allowing that anger to lead us into sinful behavior. This implies that while anger is not inherently wrong, how we respond can lead to negative consequences for us and those around us.
Secondly, the instruction to not let the sun go down while we are still angry underscores the urgency of resolving conflicts and addressing grievances promptly. Holding onto anger can lead to bitterness and resentment. If anger is allowed to fester in our hearts, it creates more profound anger and darker thoughts, leading to sinful actions and reactions.
When we allow anger to linger, the enemy will gain a "foothold" in our lives. This "foothold" can manifest in various forms, such as engaging in harmful behaviors, damaging relationships, or straying from our moral and ethical principles.
I encourage anyone reading this who may be dealing with anger issues to seek guidance through God, the Bible, and your fellow Christians.
A Biblical response to anger is very different from the world's response. We are called to live out our love for God and our faith as Jesus did. Pick up a Bible and let it be your counselor through anger and disagreements.
"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." (James 4:1-3 ESV).
How to Disagree: The Christian Way
There are several ways we can better navigate disagreements with our fellow human beings, and these ways should always stand firm for our beliefs, and never harm another person. They should be respectful, truthful, and informative. They should seek resolutions that do not result in actions that silence another person's beliefs or their freedom to express them.
When we consider the murderous response of the killer of Charlie Kirk, we can clearly see that young people need to be taught that while disagreements are a part of life, it is imperative to learn healthy and constructive ways to handle these disagreements.
"And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him." (Revelation 12:9 ESV).
The fact that anyone should be murdered simply because someone disagrees with them should be unacceptable worldwide, not just within the Christian community. But the world being what it is, it is no wonder that so many arguments and disagreements result in violence and death. We must realize that Satan has a firm grip on much of the world we live in.
Christians must also understand that we are called to be a light in the world's darkness. God sends out his believers to show the world there is another way, a better way, and in the end, He wins, and so do we.
"Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." (Romans 12:9 NLT).
Our response should always be Love—true love, even when it is hard.
Ways We May Disagree Biblically
Respecting The Rights of Others
As a Christian, I honestly say I hope everyone will be Christians. My faith has shown me that God is the only way. His Word teaches me to tell others about Jesus. So, I do as often as I can.
I do this in many ways. One of these ways is by studying the Bible. I am still learning and have a long way to go, but I have prioritized learning about and sharing the Word of God. This commitment is the reason this website was born. This website is one way I can share God's Word and hopefully, plant the seed to turn others towards God.
We must never forget that as Christians, we are here to plant the seeds of the Good Word and Good Ways of God. God is the one who turns hearts and minds, but we may help direct others to the goodness of God.
We must also remember that the devil is also planting his own seeds of hatred, disagreement, frustration, and despair. With his ways, there is no hope or resolution in dispute, so when his seeds take hold, they result in argument, disrespect, hatred, intolerance, mental abuse, physical abuse, and even murder. There is zero respect or compassion in those who show no regard for God or the sanctity of life.
So, as Christians and as humans, we need to learn respect. Respect for all of God's creations and the differences that are a part of those creations. Yes, we will have disagreements, but only through respect can we seek to understand one another and learn from the differences in ideas and opinions we may have.
We cannot hope to have freedom when we attempt to silence the freedoms of those around us. So, mutual respect for our rights is one way to ensure we are handling conflict and disagreement correctly.
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV).
Actively Listening
One of the most effective strategies we may use in disagreements is active listening.
This involves hearing the other person's words, fully engaging with their message, and paying attention to their emotions and underlying feelings.
By nodding, maintaining eye contact, and providing verbal affirmations, we can demonstrate that we value their perspective, which can significantly reduce tension and promote a more constructive dialogue.
This should not be a pretend gesture but based on an honest interest in understanding and learning from the other person. Even in strong disagreement, careful listening may help us see some truth in their viewpoint and allow us to show compassion.
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." (James 1:19-20 NIV).
Seek to Find Common Ground & Choose Words Wisely
Another critical approach is seeking common ground. This means identifying shared values, beliefs, or goals that both parties can agree upon, even if they differ in other areas.
Focusing on what unites us rather than divides us can create a more collaborative atmosphere that encourages cooperation and understanding. This can be particularly effective in heated discussions, where finding a mutual interest can redirect the conversation towards a more positive outcome.
When individuals or groups concentrate on what unites them rather than what divides them, they are more likely to engage in open discussions, encouraging sympathy and respect. This shift in perspective can lead to innovative solutions that satisfy the needs and concerns of all involved.
For example, abortion is often a topic of heated debate. Instead of automatically disengaging from this topic, seeking common ground is one way of opening the door of communication.
One person might say, "I believe the killing of another human being, including a fetus, is wrong. I care about the lives of children". The other person may respond by saying, "I believe it is the choice of the woman, and I also care about children and do not want them to live in an environment where they are not wanted".
You are not in agreement, but you have found common ground in the fact that you both care about the lives of children.
From here, you may go on to debate topics such as the Biblical view on life, adoption, counseling for mothers/mothers-to-be, legal guardianship options, advocating to stop child abuse, advocating for better placement homes for children, parenting counseling, and a host of other topics where even more common ground solutions may be found.
So, you see, we do not have to agree with one another to work towards common ground changes. This is the way a free society works. We exchange ideas, information, opinions, and beliefs respectfully and then take away what we can from those exchanges to work towards common ground goals. Showing violence, anger, and hatred towards someone for sharing their thoughts stops a free society.
To this effect, it is vital to choose our words wisely. Our language during a disagreement can either calm tensions or escalate the situation. Choosing our words thoughtfully can prevent misunderstandings and create a more productive conversation. Practice pausing before speaking. This allows you to gather your thoughts to ensure your response will be in a positive, respectful, tone.
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (Colossians 4:6 ESV).
Seek Truth Always
The Bible should always be the first place we seek truthful guidance and answers. It is a timeless resource, rich with wisdom and insights that have been revered for centuries. The Word of God is a perfect blueprint for how to live our very best life, a life built on truth, love, and kindness.
Within its pages are moral teachings, ethical and profound narratives that illustrate the importance of compassion, forgiveness, respect, and humility. These stories and teachings encourage us to cultivate a life that reflects the virtues of generosity and sympathy, allowing us to connect with others on a deeper level.
The darkness of sin is heavy but it does not weigh down a life guided by biblical principles. Instead, it offers a path towards spiritual fulfillment and emotional well-being.
The teachings found in the Scriptures remind us of the importance of making choices that align with our values and beliefs, steering us away from temptations that can lead to regret and despair.
By immersing ourselves in the Word, we can gain clarity and strength to navigate the complexities of life, including disagreements, fostering resilience in the face of challenges.
Media and the information it provides us can be a good thing when it is truthful. We need to reexamine the sources of information we consume to ensure that what we watch, read, and listen to tells us facts and truths, not biased agendas.
After the murder of Charlie Kirk, I watched in sorrow as hundreds of people began quoting Charlie Kirk, using only a portion of his words to suit their own agendas. I watched as others corrected these misguided people by ensuring the full words of Charlie Kirk were quoted and known.
As I thought about how easy it is for people to twist things to suit themselves, it also dawned on me that many of those people quoting misinformation only did so because the media they followed had reported it this way. This could be what they believed to be true, because so many do not think for themselves or take the time to research the news to ensure they are reading truthful media.
The media is a constant source of half-truths and opinionated pieces parading as facts and truths.
This brings me to the importance of viewing our media through the eyes of discernment.
We must seek out the truth of the stories we consume. This is another area where I believe most of us may share common ground.
Surely, we all want to have truthful facts about the stories we read. None of us wants to debate someone, only to be proven wrong because we have not researched the material we are discussing.
It is an absolute obligation to ensure we learn truthfully through the Bible and the media sources we choose to follow.
We also have an absolute responsibility to teach our children how to do the same so that they may become independent thinkers using facts and truth rather than false doctrine.
"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." (Ephesians 4:25 ESV).
The Importance of the Company We Keep
Leaning on fellow Christians or those who honor truth and peaceful conflict resolution is essential to dealing with disagreement.
This approach fosters a sense of community and reinforces the principles of love, understanding, and compassion central to the Christian faith.
When faced with disagreements, it is essential to seek out individuals who share a commitment to resolving issues in a manner that reflects these values.
After the murder of Charlie Kirk, and while I was struggling to control the anger I felt regarding this senseless act of hate, God blessed me with a text from my good friend and fellow Christian, Phyllis.
Phyllis is a long-time faithful Christian and is deep-rooted and highly knowledgeable in faith. She had texted to confirm our future lunch plans, but also asked me how I was handling the spiritual roller coaster of the week. Amazingly, she knew I would be feeling an abundance of emotions, and not all of them good. I confessed to her that I was struggling with anger.
She proceeded to love bomb me with prayers, verses from the Bible, referred me to sermons from the Pastor of the Church where we share a connection, and gave me the support of a friend who always has the best interests of those around her in mind.
This exemplifies the extreme importance of the company we keep. Should I have sought advice from those filled with anger, grief, or hate, I would have sunk deeper and lower into the dark emotion of anger.
But as it happened, God placed Phyllis in my path, knowing she would show me understanding and lead me down the right path for dealing with such anger.
Choosing wisely the company we keep can be the difference between drowning in darkness or bathing in light. I wish the killer of Charlie Kirk had such a friend to help him see that destroying lives is never the answer.
"Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare." (Proverbs 22:24-25 ESV).
Show Compassion and Give Grace
Christians are taught to show compassion and offer grace to others, especially when dealing with disagreements and conflict. This principle is deeply rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ, who emphasized the importance of love and understanding in all interactions.
The Bible encourages believers to approach others with sympathy, recognizing that everyone has struggles and perspectives. In moments of disagreement, Christians are called to practice patience and humility, seeking to understand the other person's viewpoint rather than immediately reacting with anger or judgment.
Extending grace is not merely about overlooking faults and never compromising your beliefs; it involves a conscious decision to seek to understand and forgive while striving for the best outcome possible. This can be particularly challenging in situations where emotions run high or where there are deep-seated differences.
However, Christians are reminded that grace is a gift freely given by God and are encouraged to reflect that same grace in their relationships with others. In practical terms, this might mean engaging in open and honest dialogue, actively listening to the concerns of others, and responding with kindness, even when faced with hostility.
It may also mean agreeing to disagree calmly and respectfully. Sometimes there may not be a clear path for reconciliation or agreement, which is okay. What is most important is to behave as Christ would have wanted us to in these circumstances. Tell the truth, plant the seed, and then step back from an overheated debate.
Winning an argument should never be our goal. Showing people the love and grace of Christ should always be.
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience," (Colossians 3:12 ESV).
Offer Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a key theme in the Bible and crucial for resolving conflict. Holding onto anger and resentment extends conflict and impedes spiritual growth.
When conflicts arise, proactively embrace forgiveness. This approach isn’t about condoning bad behavior but about letting go of the burden of anger.
For many Christians, including myself, this is one of the hardest lessons from God. Even when I want to forgive, I sometimes struggle to feel forgiveness due to my sense of right and wrong and my abhorrence of injustice.
But here's the thing: we are all sinners. While we may not be killers, bullies, or thieves, we have all behaved poorly. We have all sinned.
Forgiveness is a frequent topic in the Bible. "Forgiveness has been mentioned at least 127 times in both the Old and the New Testaments, but the Greek translation of the word forgiveness and other related words appear 146 times throughout the New Testament." (Jordan, 2023). Clearly, God expects us to forgive, even when it is hard.
When struggling to forgive others, it may help to remember the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins. He did so that we could be forgiven and saved. As Christians, we should all be eager to honor His ultimate sacrifice through our actions and the forgiveness of others.
We also must remember that our forgiveness by Jesus was not earned or deserved, just as our forgiveness towards others may not be.
Forgiveness does not constitute agreement or compliance, but it does reflect our humanity and that of the other person.
Also, it does not mean we should forget or excuse harmful acts. In fact, one of the best things that can come out of forgiveness is the passion and desire to champion action and causes to prevent harmful acts from taking place in the future.
Forgive and seek ways to honor God and His forgiveness by promoting good in this world.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32 ESV).
Practice Humility
Humility is crucial for effectively dealing with disagreements. Approaching conflict with humility helps us appreciate that we do not always have all the answers; God does, and we do not. Approaching disagreement humbly makes it easier to understand that we all have limitations.
By embracing humility, you open yourself to learning from others. If a debate arises, approach the conversation with curiosity rather than defensiveness. This attitude can lead to more meaningful discussions and a deeper understanding.
We should always be free to discuss our thoughts and opinions, and always be respectful of the freedom of others to do the same.
When both sides approach this with the intent of learning something from the exchange, the odds of learning from someone and teaching someone increase significantly, leading to better outcomes for all.
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2 ESV).
The Power of Prayer
Prayer serves as a most potent tool for managing anger and conflict. Rely on God and prayer, and you will have the ability to approach disagreement with peace and knowledge.
Pray for wisdom on approaching the situation, the ability to listen and understand, and the strength to forgive. Pray for a resolution pleasing to God.
Also, pray for the other person. This can sometimes be hard, but we must remember that the world, and the people of the world, need God and our prayers.
After the murder of Charlie Kirk, my first response was prayer. I prayed for his family and two beautiful children. I prayed for a world where we could talk as mature adults, eager to learn from one another. I prayed for a world where hate did not exist. I prayed for the young man who committed this senseless murder and prayed that he would come to know God. I also prayed for his family and the loss they were also suffering.
It isn't always easy to pray for people who have committed horrendous acts or even those who have wronged us personally. However, engaging with God is precisely what God instructs us to do in even the most difficult circumstances.
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." (Romans 12:12 ESV).
Final Thoughts
As I sit here today, I can't help but wonder if the person who murdered Charlie Kirk has stopped to think about how his actions did not give him what he had hoped. Yes, he murdered Charlie Kirk to silence his message, but does he realize that even as I write this, there are already millions of people rising up vowing to never let the message of Charlie Kirk die?
I wonder if he also realizes that while there may be some disturbed people celebrating the murder of Charlie Kirk, I have not seen one single of these people celebrating the killer. Nobody mentions the killer by name. Nobody celebrates him, only his murderous act. In fact, most probably do not even know his name. This is another testament as to how evil does not win. If he wanted to be famous his horrible act of murder did not make him so. In fact, it made Charlie more known and his message heard louder than ever.
I hope you all join me in praying for the family and friends of Charlie Kirk and over the family of the one who killed him. I also hope we can all find the strength to pray over the one who murdered Charlie Kirk because God is the answer and I pray with all my heart that he will seek God.
I want to sincerely thank you for reading this article. Writing this article was a work of love and a way to seek God's will during a difficult week.
I struggled with anger when I first began writing this article. After seeking answers through the Word of God, taking time for reflection and prayer, and through a very well-timed text from a good friend (Wink! Thank you God! I know that was you! 😊🙌🙌), my anger gave way to love, compassion, humility, and grace.
I have channeled the love and light I now feel into becoming a champion of change!
My family and I will seek out constructive ways to ensure the murder of our fellow Christian, Charlie Kirk, leads to Godly changes in this world. We will seek out and actively support organizations such as Charlie's organization, Turning Point, and support people whose mission reflects the message of God. I will boldly show my love for Christ the way he did. I will not become angry or encourage violence, but I will aid God in ensuring His message endures. Good always overcomes evil.
I hope I have presented some ideas and Biblical guidance to help you navigate any anger or conflict you may be experiencing. These words are mine, but they all came from God and His Word. You will also find helpful links to navigating disagreement at the end of this article.
Thank you for being here. I pray that each of you will find the peace and the guidance of God during your most difficult times. God Bless! 🙏✝️
Here's to your Blissful Faith! ❤️
T. Benton
Owner & Writer @Blissful-Faith.org
Copyright © 2025 Blissful-Faith.org. All Rights Reserved.
Links to Biblical Guidance on Disagreements:
Resources:
Jordan, J. M. (2023b, November 7). How many times is forgiveness mentioned in the Bible?. Christian Faith Guide. https://christianfaithguide.com/how-many-times-is-forgiveness-mentioned-in-the-bible/
You Version. (2025). Read the bible online. A free bible on your phone, tablet, or computer.: The bible app. YouVersion | The Bible App | Bible.com. https://www.bible.com/
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